So, a tiny handful of you out there might know that I'm 23 and have serious knee issues. I've always had some problems with my knees, but in the past few years it's gone downhill damn fast. Back in around... I think it was June or July of 2005, my right knee decided to collapse on me. I went to the doctor, they sent me to physical therapy because of soft tissue damage to my knee. At that point, it was all that my insurance would cover.

Fast forward almost two years with little incident and lots of unemployment and sitting around, which gives me no chance to see how much worse my knee was getting. Then I get a job in April of 2007, working customer service at the local zoo. My knees (both of them) are hurting so bad that I can't even stand for half an hour without absolutely NEEDING to sit down for fifteen minutes, minimum. One day with crap weather, it was so bad that I could barely even walk into work. Advil/Motrin and Aleve did jack shit for the pain, but Arthritis-Strength Tylenol? Oh yeah. Helped SOOOO much.

So, my insurance is faffing around and finally gets me an appointment with a rheumatologist. The thing is, since I have state-provided insurance, they don't allow me to see any of the local doctors. NOOOOO, they have to send me all the way to the University of Michigan, where they try to rule out Crohn's and Coeliac before faffing around a bit more and giving me a tentative diagnosis of Psoriatic Arthritis. They put me on Methotrexate, an immune suppressant, and BAM, I'm ready to move out of my summer job at the zoo into my current job at a local Meijer store, where I was starting as a cashier.

It was a good thing, really. I was getting so stiff and sore that I couldn't even move, but taking the Methotrexate made it so I was actually able to stand for nearly a full 8-hour shift without much, if any, pain. Now, about a year and a half later, my knees start being unable to take the long shifts, standing in one spot with bending and twisting and lifting 40+ pounds on a consistent and regular basis. They start to hurt again. So I request a transfer over to being a Greeter, which allows me the freedom of movement that has always allowed me to avoid pain.

I've been a greeter now for just about half a year. In that time, my right knee (surprised, anyone?) has given out on me. Four. Different. Times. Each time, I refused to go home (I'm the only one in the household making money, I have a responsibility, y'know), and stuck it out in one of the wheelchairs that customers can use. Now, I've started to notice that the back-right side of my right knee, where I had that soft tissue damage back in 2005, is grinding. My knees have always made a popping, clicking noise when I bend them, and I do it so quickly that I might not have noticed the grinding starting to happen. But now? OHGOD, now I'm starting to feel it. It hurts, so, so bad.

Now, I noticed this yesterday. I only have to make it through today and tomorrow before I have an appointment with my family doctor (thank you, work-provided insurance!) so I can get a fucking x-ray. It's only a couple of days, and my biggest worry is actually being taken off the methotrexate to reduce the risk of infection for a surgery. You know why? I'm already in minor constant pain, but I suck it up and deal with it. If I'm taken off methotrexate, I will be in constant major fucking pain. My right knee already is like that on a bad weather day. Having it on both knees? It will be debilitating. Crippling. I will be wheelchair-bound and they'll probably be giving me Darvocet to make the pain back off.

I just... GUH. I'm tired of living with constant pain. Fix me up already, plz?



EDIT 11/18:

Whoo, going to get an MRI done of my knee in the morning. Better than x-rays, because they can look at all the connective tissue, too! Well, hopefully it'll get done tomorrow. If my insurance didn't sit around on their asses instead of getting the MRI authorized. And I'm going to look for a spiffy new cane tomorrow that doesn't turn my hand green even through the polyurethane coating on it.



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